I’ve been with my partner for quite a few years now. We’ve enjoyed a great, but unextraordinary relationship, until a couple of years ago. My partner went through some stuff that hurt her psychologically. With counseling she started to show signs of improvement. She started seeking alternative methods of improving her health and they seemed pretty positive. Her mother gave her some ideas on what kinds of things to try.
HDIH, the devoted partner of a Universal Medicine student tells of his struggle to support the choices of the love of his life, keep his family together and maintain his own wellbeing. In so doing, he, like many contributors here, overturns the popular SergeProp claim that all who question or challenge the benefits of Universal Medicine are bullying, abusive, empty and ‘loveless’.
I first started to hear the word ‘esoteric’ after maybe a year. I didn’t take too much notice. Gluten and dairy became a no-no, but were more discouraged than completely cut out. Maybe close to a year ago her family started talking a lot about a woman they had started to see who could read auras and heal and all kinds of amazing stuff. So my partner started going and getting healing, chakra puncture and loads of advice and funny ideas. I first started to notice things were a bit funny when all you’d hear from my partner and her family was the advice that this woman was giving her. Every life decision that came up, they’d immediately say “I’ll have to ask ……”
While I didn’t think any of the ideas or advice coming from this woman was harmful (in fact most of it seemed quite appealing as a nice way to live one’s life), I did think and say that it can’t be good when one person has so much control over anyone’s life, let alone a whole family’s. I eventually went and saw her with a completely open mind. After all, I don’t have the answers to the universe, how can I say that this person doesn’t? I came away not feeling healed, but also not immediately thinking it was hogwash. I found her to be very easy to talk to and also very perceptive. I was doubting the whole “nobody can see auras” idea, and thought she did have some ability, but I was pretty content to sit on the fence. I worked out more recently after reading this thread that she had cold-read me and nothing more. Knowing that, I realise that she wasn’t actually all that great at it, but for someone searching for answers she must seem amazing.
I should point out that in this time, my partner and I had a baby, who is the most amazing thing in the world. I don’t know if it makes things harder having a child to consider, or easier. At least it renders a few of the hard decisions moot. If that makes any sense.
Anyway, a few months ago things came to a head a bit and I decided to look into what all this stuff was about. I had only really recently heard of Serge (there was no mention of a leader or any kind of figure head for the vast majority of the indoctrination. If there had been I’m sure alarm bells would have been ringing in my head much sooner) and Universal Medicine. I noticed his name on all of the supplements and creams, the same surname on music etc.
I searched Universal Medicine in Google and the first suggested search was “Universal Medicine cult”. My whole world came crashing down as I did more research and found out what had happened right under my nose. I found the thread on the Rick Ross forum and have read it religiously for months now and I thank everyone contributing for all of the invaluable information. I have had a lot of help, both professional and informal. I now have a really good understanding of how and why people get involved in these things. And especially how and why my partner has.
That’s where I’m at right now. Things are pretty farcical from an outsider’s point of view when they see the way we live our lives. I have restrictions on what I can and can’t do. I won’t go into any detail about what they are, but there are some fundamental rights as a grown, Australian man that I no longer have in my house. People might judge me (and certainly judge her) for putting up with it all. The fact of the matter is that I love my partner, and living without her and my child isn’t an option. Not to mention the fact that my child needs a parent who isn’t under the control of all of this nonsense to be there for them.
As far as my perspective on the whole scenario goes, I have to accept a fair bit of responsibility for where she is now. I perhaps didn’t always make her feel safe and secure as I was dealing with my own stuff over the last few years. When I found out about it I reacted not-so-well and only pushed her further into it. I still think I haven’t quite got it figured out yet, because I see some of the things I do or say drive her deeper into it.
I do know this though, trying to convince someone that none of this crap is real when they truly believe in it, is fundamentally flawed. I think the hardest thing I’ve had to come to grips with is that while we here all know that it is crap, you are actually wrong to say that to them. Reality is subjective. Yes the sky is blue and water is wet, but for most of the things in the world you cannot tell someone that their point of view isn’t reality. They believe it, therefore it is real (to them). Telling them it is not real actually makes you wrong. To fully understand that was mind blowing for me. It also makes it extremely hard if you hold out any hope of ever rescuing someone from it. I have been led to believe that you can never actually save anyone in a cult, so you just do your best to accept them for who they are and hope that one day they’ll see it all for what it really is. Of course then your job is to be there for them when their world comes crashing down.
Hopefully someone might find something useful in my post. I fully realize that I don’t have it figured out, these are just some observations from my point of view.
This post was originally published in August on the Rick Ross Cult Education Forum on Universal Medicine.
Another contributor there wrote an excellent post on how he communicated with his brother, a UM student, who has since left the cult. The page includes a valuable and heartfelt discussion from several contributors on the experience of partners and spouses. Again, their efforts to maintain or redeem their relationships utterly dispels any characterisation of those with misgivings about UM as ‘bullying’ and ‘loveless’.