Have Your Say – An Open Letter to Serge Benhayon

In his first Have Your Say post, HDIH (How Does It Happen) wrote about the insidious influence of Universal Medicine on his beloved partner and the difficulties of holding his relationship and family together. In this open letter to Serge, he elaborates and appeals to readers to open a public dialogue, with a particular call to Universal Medicine’s students. 

(HDIH planned to use his real name but reconsidered after discussions with loved ones on the possibility that any perceived criticism of Serge Benhayon may place his marriage and home life under further strain.)

Dear Serge,
I’ve never met you, yet I feel compelled to write a letter to you letting you know of the influence you have had on my life. I have attended a webcast of you speaking, and I have had three appointments with practitioners who are affiliated with your EPA.
The influence you have had on my life doesn’t come from any of those instances. It comes from the changes your teachings have made to my partner. I have watched her change from a strong, confident and loving person to a shadow of her former self.
My partner and I have been together for over a decade. We have enjoyed a beautiful relationship that has recently produced a child. I’m not saying our relationship has ever been perfect, but we have always been able to work together through love to ensure that our relationship overcame any issues.
A few years ago something happened to my partner that had a profoundly negative impact on her. This event left her very emotionally vulnerable. She was able to start dealing well with what had happened with professional help. Unfortunately, she also started to receive help from a family member who started to pass on some of your teachings. On the recommendations of this family member, my partner started to see a practitioner quite closely affiliated to you.
To begin with, I had no real issues with what my partner was starting to believe in. I was actually quite interested in some of the ideas for a while. However, over time I began to notice a few worrying things.
My partner and some family members quite suddenly were unable to make any decisions without consulting their esoteric practitioner. I have witnessed the complete destruction of their self-esteem and confidence. I recognize this as a direct goal of yours and can’t help but be impressed at the ease of which you achieve it.
One of the effects of your work that I find most distressing is the fear and anxiety I see in my partner. I see it in your followers in general so I know it isn’t unique to my loved one. I see the anxiety she has around food. Good, nutritious food causes fear in her. It disgusts me that something so integral to her well-being could now cause her such stress.
I see her fear of me living an ordinary life and bringing that ordinary life into our home. How is a relationship supposed to survive when one of the members believes that their partner drains her kidney energy and brings evil entities to feed off her and her child? It’s truly diabolical.
One thing I’ve had to come to grips with through all this is that no one can control another person. Unscrupulous individuals may be able to assert undue influence on another person through deceit and manipulation, but that’s about the extent of it. As a result, I have had to alter my life to fit your follower’s bizarre world views.
I could almost forgive you for the changes I’ve seen in my partner, and I really have only mentioned a couple of the numerous detrimental effects you’ve had on her. I could almost forgive you for the effect that you’ve indirectly had on my life. My partner and I are both adults and no one person can be completely to blame for the decisions and actions of another.
I can never and will never forgive you for the influence you have had on my beautiful little daughter. You have managed to cause tension and fear in her home. You have turned her mother into a person filled with fear and anxiety. You have negatively altered her upbringing in ways that I can only watch and attempt to mitigate. I would like to ask you if all of this is a direct goal of yours, or if we are all collateral damage in your quest for more money and power. I would like to ask you quite a few things but I am well aware that you won’t reply. I know enough about you to know that you’ll ignore all of this.
This, to you, is an inconvenient truth. It does not serve your interests to realize the pain you cause. It does not serve your interests to acknowledge the lives you ruin. Perhaps you actually lack the cognitive ability to understand the effects of your greed?
I will continue to love my partner and do what I can to ensure that my loved ones are able to prosper. I will do this with the hope that one day you will crumble under your lies and deception. Maybe then our lives can return to being full of real joy and real happiness.
I understand that people from Universal Medicine other than Serge will read this and I invite questions and debate about anything in this letter. 


6 thoughts on “Have Your Say – An Open Letter to Serge Benhayon

  1. Thanks HDIH for your great words here. Your experience sounds very similar to mine and watching the changes that your loving partner makes for the good cause of Universal Medicine is very frightening and scary.I asked my partner recently why she no longer has dairy products and to my surprise she was unable to tell me why she has eliminated this food source from her diet. She did say that if she eats dairy that it gives her an upset stomach but as I pointed out that because she has removed it from their diet. If she started to have dairy again in small amounts and built up her immune system for it she would be all ok to eat and drink dairy products. She did concede that UM have said that dairy is no good in the diet “but she does not know why”, but she continues not to have it.The control that UM and the practitioners inflicts over the individuals is enormous, I would suggest that the majority of “followers” (they are followers because they follow what Serges or the Practitioners say) are nice decent people and have lost their way in their life.The majority people that I know who attend UM all have had some major crisis in their life and they are looking for something to fill the void that this crisis has created. They find the initial introduction to the group through the practitioner’s or UM direct as a great group of loving people. In time as they immerse themselves with the group, UM then introduce the more “controversial” teachings and beliefs onto the person. By now the follower believes that this is a great group of people and how could they get in wrong and they follow what UM teach then regardless how silly it is.I like you have children and it is important to remain in the relationship at all costs to protect your children / s from the practices / beliefs and teachings of this very poisonous group that I have no doubt is a cult. I want my children to grow up in this world and enjoy life / friends / foods / music and not be scared of the world due to the teachings of UM.I like you sit and wait for the day the UM world will come crashing down and my children and I get to have back the LOVE of our life the LOVING / CARING / COMPASSIONATE / THOUGHFUL mother and wife we lost to this CULT some time ago.

  2. Thanks for your words HDIH, I empathize with you totally.I know the grief of watching someone change before your eyes and secretly screaming inside wondering what to do; knowing that no logical argument would win them back, because Serge had got in ahead of you and shut that door. I too had a lovely relationship with my partner- sure it was full of ups and downs and even breaks- but we had a true affection and attraction that persisted through it all. Even up to and during the turmoil of confronting her on my fears, that came through at times.But eventually Serge's divisive teaching won out- and perhaps I suspect, his influence- and she decided that a life 'doing the work' was more rewarding that a husband, home, child, family or future together.I belatedly found all of his relationship material and realized the subtle persuasions he uses to change their view of relationships, and especially ones that are strong, by inverting affection, caring, attraction and desire into something bad. I wish I could go back to when it started and take those terrible non-sense filled books out of her hand and show her the real world and how full of joy it can be. And I rue the day I laid eyes on Serge, and regret it took me so long to listen to my initial doubts that were there from day one.The worst of it all is that I know she somehow feels happy, even though she has made major sacrifices and continues to make them at my expense, and of course at hers. It is as if anything will be done to resist the truth coming through.Serge already knows my attitude. He even asked remarked to a reporter that he would like to ask me what he had done that had upset me- as if to anyone with common sense and decency it is not obvious. No one has responded to me, and I doubt they will. It is simpler to call me a man unable to deal with the loss of my relationship or not dealing with my "issues" (now double the strength and available to all to hear apparently) rather than to acknowledge the fact that interfering in someone’s life in any way is diabolical. I for one could not live with helping break up one family, least of all scores or even hundreds.I know the UM members reading this will toss their heads back and scoff: "but there was probably issues anyway!" and " I've heard you are an asshole" but the truth is more subtle. First, remember how I used to be a good guy? right up to the moment I declared my concerns with UM? That's right. It changed in a second… But I am still the same guy. Nothing has changed. Except I am saying something you all don't want to hear.And as for the marriage? Couple counsellors will tell you to look for things you like about each other and work on those- and I know with us there were many things- Serge on the other hand tells people their partners are "loveless" and "bullies" if they try to tell them an alternative view to what Serge is telling them. Maybe even a liar. That is called cleaving relationships apart.Serge also knows we have a small child, and it seems to worry him not that I, like many many other families, are now kept away from seeing our children every day in a loving family relationship. He would prefer to have my wife sitting front and centre taking notes, and living with another 'student' with her daughter caught between two worlds, while he makes another $60,000 cash as he pontificates incoherently about "Glory"

  3. For students and for Serge if he cares to read this, I know myself and HDIH are one of many men, and a few women, who feel the same way. We KNOW it is not just a few disgruntled men. Everyone I have met in this terrible journey has been exceptionally nice. They are not perfect, but they are not abusers, they are not misogynists, as the group implies we must be. They are not control freaks, repressive or even angry. They are normal, good people who have been distraught that this influence has crept up on them and their families and stolen them right from under their noses. They are upset that their partners have turned on them in support of Serge and forgotten all the good they have done and support they showed. They are crushed that they would give so much love and then have them told that they are imposing when they try to show it when they finally see what is happening.To Serge, I say, rather than spend all of your time preaching to the converted, why not hold a conference for the families of your members and explain to us how you have had nothing to do with all of this pain, and had not influenced our partners decisions to leave their relationships. Have the courage to speak to our faces. Not through the women, or through lawyers. Then we might be impressed you are the man you have been saying you are. And then you will have the opportunity to answer the question you posed to that reporter, directly to me instead.

  4. Serge is small and sleazy looking but can reduce a room of women, most past child bearing years as it goes, to a case of jitters.Serge would be more at home on a cruise ship, swindling money out of elderly women who are lonely but wealthy. Hey, he can even teach them tennis as a way in. I wish he would. And get lost at sea.I wonder if his daughter in law who has just had a child, has considered her relationship if she wants to leave Serge's son at any time. Or the head mess that will give to her kid, having to tell the child not to believe, but with Serge as a grandfather, what chance does it have.? If I was her, I wouldn't ask for a divorce, I would run into the night and never look back. Or maybe it would be like Serge's first marriage, move in another younger model, and stay on as the hired help..ignoring what was going on under your nose, how can Deborah live with that knowledge? The whole family give me the shudders, you can see it isn't a normal set up, but the followers of Serge, condone it, and if they condone his life, what else do they condone in life, I for one wouldn't trust any of them now. And if I found out any of them were working with my children, I would pull them out instantly. In Britain, there was a case about Jimmy Saville who was a charity fundraiser, and he was trusted by the public, after his death, it turned out he abused over 450 under age kids, and people knew, they just didn't speak up. Well, I hope we don't have another case on our hands when it blows up about Serge. Im not saying he is an abuser, but when something isn't right, you just know in your gut. And I know he isn't to be trusted. I would love for Serge to answer questions about his lifestyle in an open interview. But he hasn't and he won't. Because he can hide behind the skirts of post menopausal women, who can be fierce and protect him like a son. Mother issues Serge? Maybe…Im less intrigued by him, and more sickened the more I read about this man. I hope he can be stopped from developing further into the minds of the succeptible and weak, and DV you are an angel for your work on behalf of the affected, I salute your commitment and your intelligence on the cult that is UM. Btw, I am female – it isn't all men who despise Serge. He has a great deal to answer for, and I hope it is in this lifetime so we can see his demise, and suffering, as he has made us suffer, and our childrens hearts break.

  5. To anon 1, I'm really sorry to hear that you're in a similar position. I find its a very bittersweet situation. So much of it seems like hell, but at least we're able to be live in parents to our children. I'm not sure I could handle being in Lance's position – knowing what was going on with my family and not being able to help. Let's all just pray that all of the pressure being applied to UM takes its toll soon. To anon 2, it's great to hear your perspective. With the exception of DV, there's a lot more male voices than female and we'd love to hear your story. I didn't really expect to get any replies from UM students but I'm still disappointed that they haven't taken this opportunity to join the discussion. I for one would love to answer any questions from my point of view without judging or attacking them. I'd try to join their discussions on their blogs, but we all know I wouldn't be allowed.

  6. Once again thanks HDIH for your compelling demonstration that men who have misgivings about their loved one's adherence to UM are not a bunch of loveless, bullying abusers. Thank you to the other commenters above too. Please consider writing your own Have Your Say post. You've written for us before, Lance, but you're very welcome to write more.This goes for our readers as well. We need to hear how you're coping or not coping with the affects of UM – and it's these Have Your Say posts that help others who may be feeling confused, isolated or despairing within their own situations. Fortunately I'm removed from UM, and I can post plenty of Serge's nonsensical quotes, and analyses of doctrines, practices etc. but no one (including the regulatory bodies, parliamentary reps etc.) apart from those going through it take my word for it that UM is harmful. It's the first hand stuff, the personal stories, that tells us how UM is impacting. I can also vouch for what Lance says, in that the whole 'disgruntled male' thing is a SergeProp generated myth. I've met or corresponded with a number of the so accused and found them, if anything, to be the opposite of bullying or loveless. They were happy to see their loved one had a new interest in something which appeared at first to be healthy. Many were and still are paying for the workshops, treatments and products. Imagine the despair when your loved one loses weight, their sense of humour, their interest in intimacy or affection, becomes anxious and emotionally disconnected and starts to get sick. SergeProp's 'disgruntled' is what we in the real world might call upset, concerned or distressed. Just as SergeProp interprets 'I don't think so' as bullying, and 'no' as abuse. None of us really expected replies from the students, let alone Serge. Making a comment and then having to deal with the responses, even psychologically is too threatening to the denial and cognitive dissonance. Better to keep repeating the 'disgruntled, loveless' mantra and keep to the group and protected blogs, because the truth about the harm they're participating in and the misery they are generating is too difficult to bear. Thanks again for all your contributions and please keep them coming.

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