Guilt, death and the absence of grief

HeidiYardleycut-500px

Heidi Yardley, ‘Cut’

Universal Medicine cult leader, Serge Benhayon, programs followers to believe disease is punishment for failing to adhere to the oppressive moral code he calls the Livingness. In the following extracts and quotes from Universal Medicine’s ‘truth’ blogs, his followers, including medical professionals, express guilt for minor infractions, and their beliefs that cancer is deserved and disease is a blessing. Responses from fellow cult members reveal Benhayon’s success in emotionally neutering his followers to the point where they believe death is nothing to mourn.

Benhayon presents that the only escape from lifetimes of disease, disability and suffering is to eliminate emotions, restrict pranic foods that are otherwise nutritious, reject intellectual thought and reasoning for emotionless feeling, discard empathy and warmth for self absorption, and vilify anyone critical of the pathological brutality of such an existence. A previous post, Cancer is Clearing, Death is a healing examined Universal Medicine followers’ beliefs that cancer serves to ‘clear’ the negative energy generated by Esoterically incorrect behaviour in this and previous lifetimes, and their gratitude to have found the ‘light’ in Benhayon’s life denying commandments.

Sadly, blogger F. died last month believing she’d found self-love, but she was only able to do so by rejecting her pre-cult self and history, and with an unfortunate sense that the world and society had done her wrong. Her sense of victimhood could have been avoided with some decent therapy, yet is typical of the conditioning wrought by Benhayon’s malevolent Livingness.

Universal oppression – getting away with nothing

Cult apologist, Dr A. disclosed she has cancer in the comments on F.s final writings on the Medicine & Serge Benhayon site, and a few days after F.s post, she elaborated. The blog reinforces the oppressive notion that there is no escape from punishment for the most minor transgressions of Benhayon’s pathological code. It overflows with moral judgements of her behaviour and affirms her belief that anyone who has driven too fast, drank too much, been promiscuous, worked long hours and eaten otherwise nutritious foods deemed toxic by Benhayon, deserves to contract cancer in their forties.

Getting Away with It…

10 July 2013 by Dr A. [name abbreviated]

When I was younger, I used to drink like a fish, smoke like a chimney and root like a rabbit. I did not get away with it, any of it. As a consequence, I was forced to make major changes to the way I lived, in order to keep on living. I made these changes at the age of 28, long before I moved to the Byron Shire and met Serge Benhayon. Even though I cleaned up my act, I was still not self-loving in the way I lived. There was still a hardness there, especially on myself, and a drive, that came from never feeling enough, just as I was…

Dr A. says she was driven by a sense of inadequacy for not accepting herself as she was, or more specifically, what Benhayon told her she was – someone who could only be herself and find self-love by following his commandments. What she now calls self-love is a compulsion to reprimand and reject herself for not living up to the demands of the Livingness.

I love to drive a little fast, to push the boundaries a little… I used to pride myself on being able to sense when there were police around and on knowing when to slow down, so that I got away with it.

I eat. I know there are foods I can no longer eat, foods that do not support my body and my way of being, but I still eat them… I keep “enjoying” it (eating) until I feel exhaustion, get stomach cramps and diarrhoea, or my heart starts to race; until I can no longer get away with it. 

I push myself to the limit. I know when I am tired and when my body needs to rest, but I push it beyond that… And until now, I thought I was getting away with it…

Dr A. states she was diagnosed with cancer last year.

It is a relatively benign, chronic cancer, but it was a shock nonetheless…other tests were clear and I did not have to have any further treatment. So I thought I had gotten away with it.

She adds that recently more of the disease was found.

So really, did I get away with anything?

Is it possible that the way I have lived has led to this?

Dr A. repeats Benhayon’s programming that her lifestyle and more importantly, the way she thinks, even since joining the cult and adhering however imperfectly to his commandments, has resulted in life threatening disease.

Is it possible that the way I have walked through life, denying the knowing of my body, refusing to listen when it spoke to me, and waiting until it was screaming before I changed my way of life, has something to do with where I am now?

Perhaps Dr A.’s behaviour did have some bearing on her contracting cancer. I’d suggest Benhayon’s lousy food prohibitions, encouragement of disordered eating and the resulting malnutrition has contributed to a decline in Dr A.’s immunity. It’s also possible the stress of constantly feeling inadequate has also increased cortisol (stress hormone) production which is known to contribute to the development of cancer. Those are some science backed observations, but I’d also add the obvious one that the development of cancer can be multi-factorial, and at times utterly unrelated to a person’s lifestyle, emotions and hypothetical ‘karma’. If that weren’t the case, every arsehole  that inflicted harm on others would die young.

However, Dr A., in spite of her training and clinical experience is determined to disregard science and cling to punitive magical thinking beliefs, which are extraordinarily confused.

It is not about blaming myself, finding fault, beating myself up.

It is about being as honest as I can with myself from now on.

It is about being willing to stop, be still and listen to my body, and to live from and with the knowing that lies within me, the wisdom of my inner-heart.

It is about understanding that we never get away with it, that everything we think, say and do carries an energetic imprint, that is either loving and heals us, or is not loving and harms us. And we live with every one of those imprints, every day.

So why not live in a way that is loving? I, for one, am ready to give it a go.

I am forever inspired by the life and work of Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine. 

Dr A. has convinced herself she was living in a way that wasn’t ‘loving’, and that she didn’t get away with it. Her merciless self judgement continues in the comments.

…the “sweet treat” is my Achilles heel too…I have had to come to the understanding that “even” gluten-free, dairy-free, sugar-free cake is still cake! It still affects my body, because I eat it from a need. And the need, the emptiness, the hunger, is there because in that moment I have chosen to separate from the greatest treat of all – the love that lives inside me. Now, I see these cravings as a signpost, showing me that I am struggling, and offering me an opportunity to return to love.

Throughout the post, the doctor repeated the mantra that she hadn’t gotten away with it. She believes eating gluten free cake and working until she’s tired are heinous Esoteric sins deserving of cancer. Meanwhile, her guru, Serge Benhayon is running a bogus healing workshop racket, molesting clients, misrepresenting his qualifications, invading privacy, breaking up relationships and families, making false legal complaints and issuing legal threats to those who publish facts, plagiarizing, rorting the tax system, selling money for nothing rubbish, having adolescent girls as houseguests and using covert hypnosis without informed consent to program followers with brain frying hatred of humanity, their bodies and their lives.

Benhayon is not only getting away with it, but profiting from it, founding his own tax exempt College of toxicity, and looking to establish his own church.

Narcissism, lack of forgiveness and the absence of grief

While Universal Medicine cult followers eagerly forgive the misanthropic messiah absolutely everything, forgiveness is not to be found in their writings about their precious selves and their invariably troubled pasts, nor is there empathy for those suffering disease. Dr A. demonstrates acceptance is not even granted to cult personalities compliant with Benhayon’s dictates. One wonders if a single cult member has ever measured up. Regrettably, Blogger F. died unable to forgive her non cult self and therefore in a state of emotional and psychological fragmentation.

UniMed cult members commenting on Dr A. and F.s blogs reveal similar states of psychological conflict. Because none of them can fulfil the impossibly austere Livingness, and are existing in torturous judgement of themselves and others, they show no compassion or empathy. Benhayon has taught them that emotions cause disease and must be annihilated, and to feel empathy for others is to poison oneself.

As a result, the comments on Dr A. and F.s plights are cold-hearted and narcissistic. Followers respond to Dr A.’s disclosure of serious illness by talking about themselves. It’s proof of Benhayon’s success at producing sociopathic tendencies in people who were once decent human beings. There is no expression of compassion or grief, but an overload of self reflection and judgement. If they had compassion, they’d be loathe to allow their friends to punish themselves unnecessarily at the whim of a humanity hating scam artist.

I simply love and completely relate to what you have shared. My ability to override my own body sometimes astounds me.

From the opening title “Getting away with it” I knew that this blog was very much about me as well, how beauty-full that felt.

I’m struggling with food choices, arrogantly believing I’m getting away with eating foods that I know do not support me but because I feel ‘OK’ I keep choosing them. 

Wow…what a wake up call (for me).

In response to F.’s death, some commenters couldn’t find it within themselves to mourn at all.

This piece of writing touches me deeply as I too am exploring my relationship with my breasts and what they reveal to me through self EBMs.

A few allowed themselves to partially grieve the loss of their friend, but none of them mourned that she died with unnecessary angst and loathing of the parts of herself or her life that didn’t fit the cult line. Cult members refer to her disquiet as ‘love’ and being ‘re-connected’ to herself.

What an amazing sharing this is. This is a woman that has in full understood what humanity desperatly  (sic) needs to hear – the TRUTH about healing. That the re-connection back to herself IS the healing. 

One day humanity will know this as absolute truth and that true healing is about taking those loving steps back to who we are, how we chose to leave ourselves somewhere along the way because we didn’t think the world could handle us being naturally who we are – tender, gentle and delicate.

Earlier this year, a cult member wrote about her ‘Mum’s Funeral: Celebration of a Life Completed‘, where again, grief was absent and she betrayed no sense of loss.

Cult surgeon, Dr Samuel Kim, offered no condolences.

Thank you for sharing a most inspiring account of your mum’s recent passing and how love and true understanding can heal the process of dying and death for families and relatives alike. Your story reveals that funerals can be a beautifully enriching and joyful event in our lives when all is completed and deeply appreciated from within.

Comments from Joel Levin and Dr Rachel Mascord reveal just how complete the brainwashing of Benhayon’s death drive really is, and how perfectly dehumanized they truly are.

What an amazing difference from the emotion drive furnerals (sic), I have been to… such care and celebration..

Thank you Jane for sharing with us the beauty that a funeral can offer.

Cancer is Clearing, Death is a Healing

Death Drive Part 1: Serge Benhayon’s cult of death – the doctrines

Death Drive Part 2: Serge Benhayon & the cult doctors

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14 thoughts on “Guilt, death and the absence of grief

  1. Yesterday on the FACTS blog we discussed Vanessa Hawthorne’s post on the truth about UM blog http://truthaboutuniversalmedicine.com/2013/10/08/i-am-worthy-reclaiming-myself-as-a-son-of-god/ where she calls the waaaahmbulance on Catholicism and whines about how she’d been brainwashed at mass every week to believe she was a sinner.

    She then writes a plug for the Church of $erge.

    I now feel I am worthy. We are ALL worthy.

    Except for detractors, or the loveless and in pain people who insist on enjoying their lives.

    The choices I have been making over the last ten years have been to honour my body on a physical level – not eating or drinking foods that stimulate or stagnate the body. On an emotional level I have learned to observe my reactions and deal with them. All this is an unfoldment, an unending commitment with no end point, no fireworks, just me being me allowing the love that is God and that is me to flow through me.

    No perfection required, just my turning up willing to be honest and allow and accept that I am a living Son of God.

    Under threat of cancer, misfortune and a decline on the initiation scale if you fail to comply with the commandments, Vanessa?

    Serge’s judgements and damnations are far worse than the Catholic church! Copping cancer for eating gluten free cake?

    I dunno Vanessa, I’d be asking for my donation$ back.

  2. No surprises here then. Guilt and Death are good money spinners for the Benhayons. UM must be the most expensive funeral arrangers on the planet and those arrangements start the day you walk into a ‘Livingness’ workshop. Since legacies to next of kin are deemed ‘pranic’ then a bequest only has one route to go and without any provisos as to how it should be spent. As for the ‘absence of grief ‘, how can a bunch of self-obsessed UMers cut-off from their own emotions, taught to believe reason and creative imagination are the machinations of ‘the lower mind’ be able to express grief at the loss of a fellow human being . This behaviour is literally ghoulish . Sad but true.

  3. Guys, I just pulled a few of your comments about a different topic. Keep your shirts on, I’m holding them over for a dedicated post.

    Above is some of the most disturbing material we’ve posted, and that’s saying something. It confirms everything I’ve feared about this group – they are giving up this life – embracing death for a hypothetical reincarnation sold to them by a perverted pathological scam artist, who is making a grab for their assets via bequests.

    Just for this post, I’m keeping the comments on topic. I’d rather no comments here than the latest scam distracting everyone from what is the lethal essence of UM.

  4. It’s hard to comment, because my mind just stopped after reading this post. Like it did after reading F’s (RIP) blog, as well as some of the comments.

    I also remember the blog on the funeral, which is an old one from one of the cronies who has a lot of gigs in the UK, as well as in the Netherlands (JK if I remember correctly).
    I felt weird after reading that one because, I’ve noticed, she writes a lot on the Loveblogs to promote herself; and felt she artificially mindfucked a ceremony meant to pay respect and mourn someone which used to be a part of your life, into a dinerparty. Which to me just felt disrespectful and in particularly vain.

    And who on Earth wants a Doctor who judges you, like she judges herself, after eating cake and drinking alcohol, in relation to ending up with cancer…?
    Gluten, sugar free cake, just isn’t cake anyway, right? Like vegetarian lambchops aren’t lambchops…
    You see: my mind just stopped again.

  5. There are no words the above is so so sad and so so ugly and disturbing.
    For me the above expresses in graphic detail what $erge Benhayon’s $CAM is really all about certainly not Livingness.

    The comments that Dr Kim wrote, do not display the grief which is normal and respectful and uphold life as precious as any normal human does and even more so a Doctor. (Hippocratic oath)
    Dr Kim told me that a patient of his had died I was so sad to hear this but Dr Kim said it didn’t matter – everyone was laughing and happy, Dr Kim was smiling as he told me this. I was gobsmacked. At that time I did not know about UM and that He is a cultie.

    I am still very very upset and disturbed about this. I have worked with Dr’s who when they had to deliver sad test results or they heard that a patient had died they went somewhere private and cried….The practice I worked at sent condolence cards to the patients families.

  6. Another thing which is seriously disturbing is the fact that even serial killers know they have to disguise the fact that they get a kick out of someone’s death and have a lack of normal human responses if it comes to lacking feelings like empathy. Because they actually do know that having a lack of healthy emotions and human responses distinguishes (and exposes them) from the rest of the world in an unhealthy way.
    These people keep falling over themselves to show their ‘inspiring’ idol, their peers and everybody else on the internet, how well they are doing in having a lack of humane and normal emotional responses and don’t even seem to have a clue doing so.

    • Yes, they’re not only trying to outdo each other in callousness, but they call that inhumanity their Glory® and their religion.

      How much more inhumane do they need to get before the cult’s medical professionals are euthanasing relatively healthy people to ‘heal’ them, or patients forgo medications for the Glory of an Esoteric reincarnation? Or this diseased thinking turns into a suicide or homicide pact? It’s all been done before, and it all followed similar lines to the above – but without the exposure/exhibitionism of social media.

  7. ‘Disease is a blessing. Death is a healing. Sexual abuse and murder are karmic corrections. Your physical existence is a mistake. You’re not meant to be here. Leaving your savings to your children when you die will keep them in illusion. Leaving your savings to me (as long as there’s no stipulations on how I spend it) will earn you esoteric brownie points and please the Hierarchy’

    – Serge Benhayon paraphrased.

    This sociopathic parasite should be rotting behind bars.

  8. People who do not respond with normal human emotions eg: grief, sorrow, respect for others etc …..need psychological help.
    Agree with MacReady’s comment.
    Dr Kim is a Thoracic Physician.

  9. Joel Levin.

    Remember Joel? He tried to sell us the horseshit about UM’s Sons of God and their special ‘innermost divinity’. Mediocre Messiahs – Universal Medicine’s unisex Sons of God

    His comment, in its entirety, probably tapped out on a smart phone, including typos, on a post about the death of a colleague’s mother:

    What an amazing difference from the emotion drive furnerals, I have been to… such care and celebration..

    Disrespectful, obnoxious ASS !!

  10. Disrespectful, contemptible obnoxious, inhumane and evil. Down right horrible.
    Life is such a precious gift.
    $erge through all of his $cams has messed up all the culties heads and lives etc now it appears that they are being convinced to think for themselves $erge can’t give/tell them everything. So therefore I guess what this REALLY means is that whatever happens it’s their fault not $erge’s! There are no words. I just hope that people get out fast and that when they do that they can be helped to live normal lives and rebuild. AND be able to grieve.

  11. Imagine if you were diagnosed with cancer and someone said you must have been an arsehole to deserve that, or you ate too much sugar free cake or soy cheese, which still have the energy of gluten & dairy. And then they went on to tell you your cancer is a blessing because it’s helped them connect with themself.

    Imagine if you died and no one mourned. No one regarded it as a loss. Your time on this earth meant nothing to them. They felt you’d wasted a pitiful lifetime on being pranic in a physical body. Or another way of looking at it, a precious loved one died, or you yourself died and a bunch of people used the occasion of the funeral to talk about themselves and refer to it as a celebration.

    The problem with repressed grief is that it’s a delay of a natural process. During that time lag it can take on a whole different form, resulting in increased suffering. The callous indifference to death displayed by the cult followers is just another of Universal Medicine’s dangerously unhealthy practices.

    • The more I am around new age stuff and especially Serge’s twisted version of it, the more I appreciate the magic of being human as it really is.

      While it’s a nice thought to think we might live on (I guess), all I know is we have this life. Our memories, deeds, words, the people we love and care for, make this life valuable. It is an ability to look beyond ourselves and our own petty self indulgent needs that makes us greater than what we are, not relentless naval gazing marketing by Serge and his milieu . Enlightenment is not achieved by attaining a no-mind state, just as love isn’t achieved by self-obsession. It’s found by tearing down the mental constructs that bind us ( and which Serge’s is a grand architect) and ever increasing our empathetic capacity (of which Serge is a grand-destroyer of)

      Imagine spending your life believing something that is not true, but thinking (feeling) it is? Imagine giving up your memories, loves, family, hopes, dreams, aspirations, humanity, money to serve the evermore complex and self serving constructs of one person? You can only hope that these people take these beliefs to the grave like some of them have, because the truth that they are caught in a web of lies and delusions is too shocking for most people to deal with should they wake up from the dream that Serge has them collectively sharing.

      Little wonder they have turned off their humanity. It is protective cognitive dissonance, because lurking in all of them is the seed of doubt-reality- which threatens to engulf them and make a mockery of their life sapping investment in fantasy.

      • Very well put.

        If only the members of UM could take a couple of minutes to read that and step away from their fundamentalist beliefs just for a brief moment to ‘ponder’ on the possibility that what they are being sold is not the truth, it’s just a cleverly marketed scam. If it wasn’t, why the need for the constant repeat treatments/workshops/merchandise/books etc ?

        True enlightenment is free from financial burden.

        Sadly I fear, as usual, they will bury their heads in the sand, block out all dissenting voices and keep smiling those false smiles.

        Such a shame….

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