The anatomy of denial – conversation with a cult member

This week I had contact from a mother and daughter team of Universal Medicine followers. The mother had several treatments as a patient of mine about eight years ago, and the pair are related to lifelong family friends. The mother called to make an appointment for treatment, but I refused, citing conflict of interest. I knew the daughter was deeply involved with UM, but was less sure of the mother. I spoke to her briefly of my misgivings about Serge and referred her to this blog. However, the discussion, and ensuing contact revealed the depth of her involvement and the true purpose of her contact – to convert me, and pry into my personal life, looking for dirt.

In referring the mother – let’s call her ‘Nancy’ – to this blog, I told her she could make up her own mind, but that I didn’t intend to continue a conversation with her. I considered it inappropriate to engage with her. There’s already been two frivolous complaints of professional misconduct now from the cult psychologists and the UM rent-a-crowd to AHPRA. Regardless, Nancy tried calling again, but didn’t leave a message, and then came to my work premises to deliver a letter.

Within half an hour of her first call, I received one from her daughter, whom we’ll call ‘Noddy’. I know her to be deeply involved in UM for seven or eight years. She’s a friend of Mystic Dentist, Rachel Hall, who tried to have me charged with stalking for sending her an email – a fraction of the contact I’ve received from Noddy and Nancy in the week since I told them I wasn’t interested in ‘connecting’ with them. Late last year, Noddy’s friends, the cult psychologists, made a complaint to AHPRA about me because they didn’t like me criticizing their public promotions of the UniMed scam on my blogs. When the complaint was dismissed they escalated it to a claim that I have an ‘undiagnosed mental illness’ and am not fit to practice my profession. Shortly after the complaint was dismissed, Noddy contacted her relatives, who have been good friends with my family since birth. Noddy wanted to know if I have any history of mental illness. My friend said the phone reception was poor, but Noddy was so persistent, she rang him back four times to ask the same question. She must have been disappointed when he didn’t tell her what she wanted to hear. However, as a person who has lost two close loved ones to mental illness, he was disturbed by her questions and contacted me to ask what my relationship was with her and why on earth she’d be asking such things. I told him she’s in a cult.

Noddy’s friends then tried spamming the ACCC about me, and made a new complaint to AHPRA diagnosing me with a dizzying and varying array of psychopathologies.

I’ll cover the conversation I had with Noddy in another post, but in short, she confirmed everything I’ve feared about this group. She disapproves of the ‘energy’ of my blogs, but is highly defensive of Serge’s teachings that supernatural entities rape children at night. In the same breath, she told me the little girls who’ve stayed for sleepovers in his home are ‘all fine’.

As for Nancy, when I told her about Noddy prying for personal information via their relatives, it merely prompted her to pry for herself. When I gave her a brief account of Serge’s sleazy ovarian reading, her response was to ask intrusive questions and find fault with me.

Welcome to the UniMed cult.

Privacy invasion, denial and judgement

Private and Confidential.
Yesterday when I asked for an appointment I had planned to add that my daughter [ ] who had apparently had some issues with stuff you had written on the web, had asked if she could come along to have a chat to you at the same time. So when you declined because of a ‘conflict of interest’, I was interested to hear what you had to say and it didn’t seem relevant to ask about [ ] coming as well, since you told me you had declined because of her.

I declined because of both of them. It’s not appropriate to hold discussions on UM cult nonsense during a treatment session.

It was your mention of the ‘dangerous diet’ that you claimed Serge promotes and the fact that you didn’t wish to see me because of [ ], that really made me telephone her to tell her what you had said. As she eats what I think is a very healthy diet, (and I have a science degree in biochemistry so am not completely ignorant) I couldn‘t tie this in with your interpretation. Apparently Serge’s current advice is to eat what you like, but to be aware of how your body reacts to what you eat. He doesn’t recommend anything with gluten and dairy, but nobody is actually told what to eat as far as I can tell. At least this approach recognises that everyone is different. I don’t eat dairy because it gives me a sinus problem.
However, I do eat some gluten. Not too much..

Readers can look to the diet posts to make up their own minds. As for Serge’s advice to eat what you like, he’s the purveyor of ‘One Unified Truth’ that is not to be questioned, and described by followers as ‘the voice from heaven for our times’. He’s associated dairy, gluten and sugar consumption with an increase of natural disasters, and he’s told followers that anyone who eats those foods ‘can’t truly love you‘. He’s taught that the more extensive list of pranic foods ‘hinder the flow of the light of the soul of the body’ and ‘impose a flow of energy in the body that is not our state of being’. I also mentioned him telling followers to ‘only eat when you feel to’, which is harmful advice for people with metabolic disorders, including issues with blood sugar and for people with a history of eating disorders. Non cult dietitians and biochemists aren’t so flippant as Nancy.

As you and I discussed various issues, I could only comment factually on things I had actually experienced and was surprised you had so many issues that did not seem to tie in with my past experiences. (Though I am not sure how many of them are your issues or those of someone else.) Because I had not seen the material from the blog that [ ] mentioned before I rang you, I was not in a position to discuss it.
I came to you years ago for a few months and it was not long after that that I went along to courses at Universal Medicine.
My initial experience with Universal Medicine years ago, was really checking up to see if [ ] was getting involved with a ‘cult’. Having gone along to several sessions and courses I decided that there didn’t seem to be any pressure on anyone to attend anything, or part with unusual sums of money.

But she spent, I dunno, a grand to make that decision? And is still spending. And she told me Serge taught some very off the wall content.

Goonellabah didn’t seem to be the sort of place someone out to extort huge amounts of money from people would be living in.

A.J. Miller, aka Jesus, lives on a compound near Kingaroy. Anne Hamilton-Byrne of multimillion dollar cult, The Family, was based in Victoria’s Dandenongs. Agape Ministries, Twelve Tribes, Magnificat Meal, Universal Knowledge…Should I list a few more non metropolitan based messiah scams?

Serge Benhayon owns around AUD$7M worth of property in the Goonellabah, Wollongbar area alone. We have a list of titles.

A few people [ ] had befriended seemed to be extremely pleasant people and her health and wellbeing improved. I I stopped going to courses after doing a few which didn’t seem to present any issues of concern to me.
My blood pressure went down, so I was pleased.

Oops, slipped in a little testimonial there.

Recently I went to a presentation on women’s health which I thought was excellent.

Did that include the bit where they said women develop breast and gyne disorders from intellectual pursuits, emotions, participating in sport, study, career etc? Or that nurturing one’s kids is a one way ticket to cancer?

I accessed the site you mentioned to me as your ‘blog’ though I couldn‘t find your name on it. Did you really write and research all these people? I must say the whole site really disturbed me as it seemed to be at odds with anything I had seen in my dealings in the past, and seemed to be written with such malevolent energy.

But she wasn’t disturbed by the facts – quotes from Serge’s writings, images of inappropriate touching, news reports, first hand accounts from people who’ve been adversely affected, allegations of rorting, molesting, brainwashing, death worship and fraud. None of which have been challenged by UM, except via underhanded attempts at censorship and intimidation.

None of that disturbed her.

I felt it was particularly at odds with the quality of the presentation I had just been to by a lovely woman called Dr Jane Barker who I found mentioned on your ‘blog’. I felt if you had heard her speak, you would not feel that she was a charlatan which you obviously think all these people are. Why would you try to ruin the life of someone like this who is doing such positive things for women’s health without personal knowledge of them? Just because they have been inspired by someone with whom you have issues, doesn’t make them all bad.

Nancy is right, I might not feel Dr Barker’s a ‘bad person’ if I heard her at a presentation. However, my complaint about her was based on the facts, not feelings, that she is promoting abusive, untested practices devised by a man I know to be a predator, with a long history of dishonesty, in breach of her professional code of conduct. Did her presentation include the content wiped from the original Esoteric Breast Massage site? Or that mothers can transfer cancer causing energy to their babies via breast milk, or that you need your breasts massaged indefinitely to clear ‘male energy’?

Thinking about what you told me about your reasons for attacking Universal Medicine, do you think you could have attached more significance than was intended, to what you told me Serge said in the session you had with him. You did not say why you approached him for healing so I am not in a position to offer an opinion.

I didn’t ask for Nancy’s opinion. I didn’t ask for her call or her letter. People’s personal reasons for seeking healing is none of her business. As for me, I went because I was tired and stressed from not having a holiday in several years, not, as she was inferring, because I was looking to have my reproductive organs cleansed by a dropkick charlatan.

And there’s that word again. Readers might notice how Nancy’s letter is peppered with cultisms; ‘attacking’, when she means ‘criticizing’.

Perhaps if practitioners have had experiences with patients who have been victims of abuse, (and it seems like there have been an extraordinary number of them among the community with all that has happened in the Catholic church in so many places), it was perhaps not unreasonable for him to consider you may have had problems like this that you might like to discuss. It is obviously a difficult matter for patients to bring up.

Difficult enough for patients to bring up with an appropriately qualified therapist who is accountable to a professional authority.

Nancy has been groomed to accept that unqualified Serge is entitled to present himself as competent to pry into personal histories, like she felt entitled to pry into mine. I remarked that Serge was looking for any history with men that he could exploit. Strangely he had no psychic inklings on my experiences with nasty women, and I told her he was fishing to find out if I’d been sexually abused. Nancy said, ‘have you?’

The way she asked questions and made remarks about matters which are none of her business told me it’s too late for her. There was no hesitation and no hint of consciousness that she was trying to invade my privacy. She’s a convert. As a rule, it’s only followers of UM who don’t regard the ovarian reading as inappropriate. Every other person I’ve spoken to is repulsed.

How to spot a cult member? Ask about Serge and the Brides’ privacy invasions and inappropriate touching and see if the person flinches.

As I have never had a session with Serge I have no basis to make any judgements on.

No, but funny how she feels compelled to make them anyway.

I am only suggesting if there were other possibilities of interpretation. It seems to be something that had a profound influence on your outlook, if this is the main reason for your invective. It is so at odds with the experiences of so many other people that I have heard of. I certainly knew of some disaffected partners (mainly men) who have not been happy with their partners’ leaving a relationship, but with the proportion of relationship breakdowns in the general population, that does not seem to be out of the ordinary.

That old derailing chestnut. The fiction that it’s ‘mainly men’ who’ve had negative experiences of UM and because they’re men their experiences are invalid. I was accused of being a bloke when I first started blogging, because questioning and criticism is disparaged as being ‘in male energy’.

The fact that many loved ones of UMers have vocally expressed misgivings is immaterial. In spite of copious evidence, the cult line is there is no abuse and no victims. I’m in contact with scores of people who think UM is harmful, most of whom have been personally harmed. They rightly fear retaliation if they speak out, and dread Nancy’s kind of obstinate denial and minimisation of the facts. Our site stats don’t lie either and neither do the Google search results. Followers have been told not to read these blogs, yet we get hundreds of pageviews every day.

Usually the reason people look for a group like Universal Medicine is dissatisfaction they already have with some aspect of their lives, so often the relationship. The things they have taken on board at sessions and support from people they meet in this environment, may have given them the courage to actually act on previous feelings rather than proceeding through life feeling like they are a victim. Would you argue with this suggestion?

We can safely say that substituting one sense of victimhood for another is not healing. Victimhood keeps Serge’s followers dependent, and Nancy could ask her daughter about how she and her friends feel that they and their children are susceptible to sexual assault from supernatural entities if they relax the Esoteric austerities. Or susceptible to disease if they feel emotion. She could read the post where Dr A. thinks she contracted lymphoma because she ate gluten free cake, which still has the ‘energy of gluten’.

Also, Universal Medicine offers no resources or methods to mend relationships. Loved ones are given an ultimatum to ‘connect’ Esoterically – as in pay up for the Livingness death package – or be shunned as pranic and untouchable.

No negotiation, no compromise, no respect for differences, no forgiveness – no healing.

I hope you have considered your own health with this sort of apparently constant effort on this blog, which if it were me, I think would really be destructive.

She’s right. It would be destructive for someone who remains in denial and refuses to weigh the facts. As for me, I have a large amount of information on a group where a secret culture of abuse has become normalized and marketed as ‘healing’. Families have been shattered, children are at risk and there are numerous indications lives could be at stake. Nancy needn’t worry about my health. Seeking accountability and justice is remarkably energizing.

Her feigned concern for my health also extended to remarks she made about a death in my family, which is none of her business, and that she’d attempted to contact my ailing 80 year old father, who used to do her gardening. Strange thing to do after eight years or more.

You have certainly had some experiences that have been very unhappy, so I hope you can find it in yourself to look on life with a less malevolent? view.

Nancy can’t find it in herself to examine her derogatory assumptions. I have a much healthier respect for life and a larger enjoyment of it than anyone in UM. I don’t go to sleep at night worrying about being raped by invisible entities. If I have a malevolent view it’s of malevolent facts and the questionable characters responsible for vast harms.

As for Nancy. I told her I wouldn’t continue the conversation. It’s not personal. It’s not my job to inform her on the characters she associates with. She can read the blogs or not. She can make up her own mind. I posted her letter because it’s an example of the sense of entitlement, denial and sanctimonious judgement our readers are subjected to whenever they try to communicate with UM followers. It’s like it’s written to a template – the same tired arguments, the same language, the same obfuscation and the same disregard for problematic issues. Readers tell me they feel better when they see it’s not just them being subjected to this obstinacy, that there are people who care and are willing to stand up to the harm. All comers are allowed to respond on this blog.

If Nancy or her daughter or any of the 150 plus UMers who’ve made efforts to harass, intimidate and discredit me, have anything say to me, they can engage with me here on our blogs. Engage publicly or not at all.

To Nancy and Noddy, don’t call me, don’t text, don’t email, don’t contact my family and don’t ever trespass on my work or private premises again.

If you insist on contacting me, I’ll give your phone numbers to some television producers and they’ll arrange for us to talk about your defence of Serge in front of cameras. On the record.

Part 2: Dangerous Delusion – a UniMed cult follower answers our questions

12 thoughts on “The anatomy of denial – conversation with a cult member

  1. Let’s tick off the template items for cult apologism in Nancy’s letter:

    *Avoidance – ignored me pointing out her daughter had attempted to invade my privacy and offended a relative.
    *Serge never tells anyone what to do.
    *Gluten gives me a blocked nose so everyone should cut it out
    *Your experience was different to mine therefore yours is invalid
    *Implying those of us critical of UM via our first hand experiences have been misled by ‘someone else’
    *Dismissive of financial expenditure
    *’I’m not really involved with UM, but….’ (fill the blank with your favourite apologism)
    *Everyone I met was so nice
    *The ‘energy’ of facts and accountability is worse than the cult’s abuses
    *Our criticism is ruining the lives of those profiting from ruining lives
    *I don’t know the cult’s professional apologists personally therefore I’m incapable of identifying their code breaches or harmful public promotions
    *UM has no victims and no abuses
    *Failure to acknowledge Serge’s responsibilities to clients not to mislead or abuse them
    *The Catholic Church blah blah blah
    *’I don’t know Serge but…’ (insert your favourite defence)
    *Your problems with UM are the fault of a few disgruntled males
    *The relationships that have broken up were doomed to begin with
    *You’re critical therefore you must be sick and unhappy
    *If you just thought like us, you’d have no problems and you’d get to feel superior and entitled to push professional and personal boundaries

  2. “Apparently Serge’s current advice is to eat what you like, but to be aware of how your body reacts to what you eat”

    Really? Because word is that a disagreement over the diet served at one of the UK retreats escalated into a fight after Serge started demanding that rice, tomatoes and other completely normal foods were to be left off the menu because they were evil. Even the cult member disputing his demands apparently thought that his rigid new dietary-disorder dogma was dangerous, but Serge got his way because he’s an Ascended Master who can transcend dimensions and knows more than any scientist on the planet. Absolute insanity.

  3. Hi Venus,
    A great big ‘thank you ‘ for constantly updating the public in general about this awful cult that is operated by the male individual who needs to be investigated and then charged by the NSW Police. At a time when the Royal Commission into child abuse is progressing, this idiot Serge has brain washed his ‘flock of sheep ‘ to believe that the victims of horrific sexual abuse are paying for their ‘past lives’ bad mistakes.
    I have had the unfurtunate experience of meeting through a friend, Sarah Cloutier ( a sheep – follower of this cult). My friend met her through the film production industry and almost got brain washed into the cult. She became seriously ill from listening to ‘unqualified and nonsense advice’ with regards to ‘healthy eating’ from Sarah. She became enimic and was diagonised with an eating disorder. Now after intense psychological help and a qualified nutritionist, my friend is healthy again.
    The ‘garbage’ on Sarah’s blog about diets and menus are severely damaging to anyone who is caught into her ‘recruitment trap for Universal Medicine’.
    This bull shit about blaming sexual assault victims that ‘ they are paying for their past lives’ must ring warning bells in NSW Parliament. This cult has to be stopped for its own abuse!!!!
    Please create a shame file on these low lives with their photos so the general public can stay clear of them.

    Keep up the good fight Venus.


    • Thanks Roger, UMers have no shame, and most of them have already posted their mugs on the internet beside their endorsements of the prince of pisstakes.

      The HCCC has no shame either. They’re aware of Serge’s practices and that he’s teaching that shit, and keep finding excuses not to do anything. I envision at the next Royal Commission, however many years from now, they’ll be grilling the HCC Commissioner on why he dismissed clear evidence. And I’ll be giving testimony on how this could have been stopped early 2013.

      It’s a joke.

      And the likes of Sarah Cloutier publicly promoting that little bastard are equally culpable.

      Funny, I told her highness Nancy to look for the ‘Deeper Femaleness’ images on this blog, when I referred her. Clearly she’s developed a blind spot.

      Cult goggles.

  4. Mistress Nancy’s letter reads with the tone of a primary school head mistress on a bottom smacking sortie.

    Naughty Venus!


    I want to add for those reading – don’t give in to the prying of these holier than thou sticky beaks. Tell them to fuck off. Your personal business is none of theirs, and they WILL use it against you.

    There are good reasons why there are strict privacy laws around medical records and counselling sessions etc.

    Readers have told us private issues they shared with their cult partners or exes have been shared with Sergio and his coven of bitches, and is batted around to invalidate their opposition to UM. i.e. they’re loveless and in pain, therefore they don’t know rorting and abuse when they see it.

  5. Let me guess. Noddy came out with the same old hackneyed arguments:

    1. Serge has helped a lot of people transform from drug addicts and losers into amazing people.
    2. UM has nothing to do with breakups. The rate is statistically typical.
    3. They knew Miranda/Deborah and they are amazing, therefore any imputation of anything is a lie.
    4. They are amazing. They used to feel really bad and confused, but now they feel great.
    5. The stories about Serge are from people who can’t deal with their own stuff/are reacting to his (or their) light/have an agenda (and unsaid, are controlled by entities and the astral)


    Moreover, imagine the cult members not being aware of their investment if they are so moved to actually try and convince you that UM is not a cult? What does that tell you? No self awareness comes to mind.

    Answers to above.

    1. We’re sure people have ‘transformed’- if you take the time to study cult recruitment, the first thing you learn is that there IS an initial benefit to the ideology. That is the hook that draws people in. It is because there is a seismic shift in thinking which results in corresponding changes in behaviour which leads to health or mental issues. Did you read about that when researching Margaret Singer Brendan Mooney, or did your glassy eyes miss that?

    2. The rate of breakups in UM is way above the norm. I am aware of at least 60 breakups to date locally – going back 5 or 6 years and including recent ones- all with very similar stories- the partner became “abusive” and the member realized how they were “being manipulated” and were simply playing out a role “imposed” on them…. It is apparent that if the non-group member dissents, the relationship is over. Relationships can be successful if both partners are in the group, but many break up to “re-imprint”. We’ve looked at a lot of members, and are confident this is the rule in UM. In addition, Serge sends lots of messages about families and partners holding student’s’ back from their light and glory because they are “abusive”. OF COURSE this is going to result in family breakdowns. In addition we know ex-members who now recognise and admit to it. Every-time I hear this shitty lie from members it makes us more determined to expose Serge the home-wrecker, not less.

    3. Deborah and Miranda have a very good reason to keep the story up. We don’t. How do you think you’ll feel about them when you realise they have been lying to you for years so that Serge’s story doesn’t fall apart? We consider them victims of Serge’s deceptions as well so that is not malicious. Just what it is and the position they’ve been put into because of his lifelong sense of entitlement and outrageous lies.

    4. The end does not justify the means. I’ve heard this enough now to know that members are prepared to accept and forgive anything just because they FEEL good. Fuck the truth and who might have been harmed along the way. That’s the same ideological trajectory that ends with people strapping bombs to themselves and killing kids in a school yard somewhere. Because they FEEL right.

    5. Yeah right.

    This is for meant for Noddy and her mother, but also all the other members who keep lying to themselves, and then by default everyone else- leading to people thinking UM is benign when in fact it is very very malignant.

    • ‘Abusive’. I’ve said it before, but cult members feel ‘abused’ whenever they don’t get their way. They feel ‘manipulated’ and ‘imposed upon’ whenever anyone asks them to cooperate. Some of them have tried to have AVOs taken out on those grounds and were startled when such hurtful, time wasting nonsense was dismissed in court.

      Yes, Noddy followed the cult programming to the letter. As a bonus, she was so intent on trying to convert me she answered a heap of questions.

      The conversation with her made me feel completely vindicated for exposing UM. She and her colleagues are dangerous and a risk to themselves and their children – all with smiles on their faces and insisting I’ve misunderstood Serge & UM and everything is FINE. It’s sickening.

      Speaking of suicide bombers, I made some comments over on the FACTS blog about the SBS Insight program on mind control, which featured some interesting approaches to deradicalization. Serge’s doctrine for achieving soul-full self-love is precisely the opposite to the deradicalization methods used to defuse bigotry and terrorism. He demonizes all criticism and all outsiders, and snuffs out humour, empathy and emotional intelligence – the skills needed for establishing and maintaining human connections. It explains why followers are so difficult to communicate with. It’s also a disturbing indication of where UM is headed.

      • I spoke with a new person today who informed me that his partnership fell over when the UM rules were imposed on him without warning, and when he raised questions he was termed abusive, manipulative and controlling. That’s a perfect score now. Every story is exactly the same as the last.

        Serge may be an inveterate conman without an ounce of ordinary human empathy, but his ability to tinker with minds trumps those questionable qualities.

        I fume every time I hear another story about another family who imploded because of Serge’s female centric fantasy world. Abusive, manipulative, controlling? We all know who that really is.

        I’ve racked it up on the tally board which when the shit hits the fan, will need a lot more space, I am sure.

  6. No surprise, on April 24, ‘Nancy’ lodged a complaint with AHPRA, which confirms she contacted me with the intention of entrapment.

    Predictably, it’s a moan about how she disapproves of my blogging and she’s asked the practitioner regulatory authority to take down my blogs. They won’t because they have no authority to, and my blogging has nothing to do with my practice.

    A taste of some of the fantasies in her complaint:

    Her pseudonym is ‘Venus Darkly’!!!


    I was so disturbed by her ‘blog’ that I wrote her a letter. I really was concerned for her, having known her for so long and also having been a friend of her father who used to be my gardener.

    She does not know me. At all. I treated her half a dozen times 8 years ago, & had no contact with her before or since. Employer of my father. Not friend. Especially since Nancy contacted him, feigning concern about a death in our family, looking for dirt on me.

    That was a low, low act, Nancy. I’ve criticized a lot of UMers here, but I’ve always kept my criticisms to their public behaviour promoting UM. The exception is Serge whose private behaviour has harmed and infringed on countless people – including those closest to him.

    She obviously thinks it is ok for her to harass, intimidate and discredit people, but if she perceives that others are doing the same to her, she then twists, misinterprets, attacks etc etc and thinks it is ok.

    Harass and intimidate how? Attacks? Via criticising their public statements? I don’t discredit anyone – they do that themselves by promoting a scam. I’m just the messenger.

    I might add that the person who runs the group and has raised so much of [her] ire and who she accuses as far as l can judge of sexual deviance including towards children, is the exact opposite to the image she portrays, and is the only person I have heard publicly denounce ‘doing porn’.

    I’ve asked why he exposes children to sexual content at his events, why he insists children are raped by ‘entities’ if they come into contact with someone whose had an alcoholic beverage, and why cult members expose children to that muck and send their young daughters to stay for long periods in his home. It’s highly questionable and inappropriate behaviour and I’ve asked why followers take the risk. It’s AMAZING they not only let him get away with it – they enable it.

    I therefore suggest for the AHPRA’s professional reputation, that [my name misspelled] be required to remove her blog from the web. Her attitude and language are definitely not professional.

    Esoteric freedom of speech – say whatever you like as long as it’s promoting UM, and shut down and bully everyone else.

  7. It’s interesting that women who’ve left, or are considering leaving an “abusive relationship” or abusive “church” / new age religion background, (as opposed to an emotionally, spiritually healthy and balanced relationship / church / organisation), often gravitate into even more abusive situations.

    They may not notice this in the “honeymoon” (mushy lovely feelings / brainwashing phase).

    By the time they realise they’ve been subtly, psychologically / spiritually duped (if they ever do), they’ve invested so much / are in too deep (with children and / or other emotional ties).

    Fear of further failure / loss / grief / trauma and / or self blame, undermines the strength required to move on.

    I suspect that UM teachings initially empower women to question / leave less than ideal relationships. (Those affected try to challenge this new found strength / illogical beliefs, but are labelled as controlling / abusive, rather than concerned / alarmed / panicked).

    Whether UM enables women to become strong enough to leave when they identify systemic psychological / spiritual abuse / control (in a subtle / sophisticated form) is questionable.

    Pride re: admitting to being conned may also get in the way.

    Hopefully Venus and others will drip-feed the truth required for break through…

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