Esoteric Parenting Part 1 – one long guilt trip


Louise Hearman, ‘Untitled 1234’

In the Universal Medicine cult, parents are portrayed as damaging influences in individuals’ lives, unless they comply with Serge Benhayon’s Esoteric ideas on raising children. Esoteric parenting is a confused affair of emotionless love, infantilized adults and hypermature children, and again, Serge’s decrees direct followers’ devotions away from loved ones to the parasitial cult. Too bad that children depend on their parents for the majority of their needs.

A previous post on Esoteric compassion examined how Benhayon’s teachings demonizing emotion, compassion and empathy go a long way to explaining the high rate of relationship and family breakdown among Universal Medicine students. Following that, the Esoteric relationship post looked at Esoteric ‘connection’ – SergeSpeak for cognitive and emotional disengagement and how Benhayon argues that emotions are toxic and disease producing, emotional needs are signs of weakness and other human beings are merely sources of ‘hurt’.

Children are not spared from the destruction, with Benhayon propagating intrafamilial divisiveness along familiar lines of disparaging personality traits that might challenge allegiance to the cult.

Esoteric child development – it’s all downhill

Benhayon deifies children, equating their displays of innocent honesty with special access to Esoteric ‘truth’.

Let go of all separate teachings, beliefs and ideals. The ‘light of oneness’ is your light within. Engender this light and you will feel another within you. Then all you will feel is the oneness of all.

Clairsentience is the faculty that can make the above phrase be known as a simple living truth…although, not so easily in those who continually choose to lock themselves inside their own head. In those that cannot, it just demonstrates that they are in very great inner pain. Forget not that in the inner-most there is no pain, but love…

At the primary school level clairsentience is still very active, particularly in children between five and eight years of age…

Children do not need clairsentience to be taught, just enhanced…

Young children naturally live by it. Children just know it; they just don’t get asked or are not encouraged or are not acknowledged by it. They live in the connection of the interconnectedness until the current system and our current way of life stops supporting what they know to be a natural truth…the adults sustaining this separative way of existing were once the children that only knew the livingness of one. (Benhayon, 2007, pp. 368-371)

We are fully aware adults before we are children to do it all over again. Ponder on the fact that deep within this is known. (Benhayon, 2011, p.500)

We have to be very careful we do not sabotage our young for delivering the truth. If we give them the freedom of expression, everything is available to them. They can be a 4th degree initiate just like that. Anonymous note taker, Esoteric Development Group lecture notes, Oct 2010.

M*** (name of 10 year old girl withheld) goes on to say how she finds it difficult being herself around others (taking responsibility for it and not blaming the others). How she feels like in a tug-o-war but shes holding both ends of the rope and all she needs to do is let go of one end and then be herself. All 4th degree initiate stuff. Kids know it all it is us as adults and parents that try to squash it because we don’t want to hear truth. EDG notes, Oct 16 2010, taken by Michael Dixon

However, children’s advanced capacity for ‘truth’ deteriorates as they mature.

Turning 16 years of age is not an ongoing permission to hold yourself hardened by society’s ideals and or your upbringing. (Benhayon, 2011, p.551)

  • Allow yourself to feel first, choose fire and than think with fire.
  • Kids do this naturally, but eventually the word teaches you to stop feeling and start thinking, and we develop a shield to get through life…
  • We take our shield through life, we have devised a way through life and the shield delivers it for us – we put out the shield and thus get it back.
  • No-one gets to know the real you, it is all shield to shield communications.
  • When people open up to someone, have a deep conversation about themselves – it is only a deeper part of the shield – not the true person.
  • Up until the end of nine years old you try to stay open and try to live without the shield but by 14yo (women) and 16yo (men) the shield is up.
  • No one ever wants to know how you truly are, just what you do and as parents we endorse shields by not connecting to our children. Anonymous note taker, EDG notes, April 2011.

For all of Benhayon’s whining about ‘separation’ he’s unable to comprehend the scope of an integrated personality. Again, he portrays thinking as incompatible with feeling. Natural developmental improvements in intellectual capacity, reasoning skills, independent assertiveness and the establishment of psychological autonomy are negatively regarded as a ‘shield’ and a departure from who children ‘truly are’. Someone who sucks their thumb, wets the bed, cries when the biscuits run out and can fixate for hours on Spongebob Squarepants is characterized as an advanced soul, rather than as an impressionable child requiring guidance, security and protection. Mature individuals capable of questioning and challenging the incoherent ramblings of a paternalistic cult despot are rejected as ‘loveless’ and in ‘inner pain’.

We are teaching kids to have this amazing recall/memory to do well at school. We reward them for their times tables; we give them a gold star if they spell correctly, run fast, tackle hard and or score a goal. It is no wonder they grow up to self-abuse without knowing it, when there was no reward or recognition for one loving oneself. (Benhayon, 2011, p.489)

It’s not only thinking that’s incompatible with self-love, but the development of fitness and physical strength.

Admire a boy’s strength and he will become strong – Admire a boy’s intelligence and he will become very smart. Admire the real him and you will see God’s Love. (Benhayon, 2011, p.561)

Providing children with parental guidance and support is regarded as interference. Note that making sure a child is ‘met’ has to be done without emotion.

All a child wants is to be truly met. This means seeing them for who they are and not what they need to be for you or for the ideals and beliefs of this world. Once this occurs, they know what to do next and for the rest of their lives. (Benhayon, 2011, p.489)

Esoteric parenting therefore precludes any outward expression whatsoever. Without input of emotions, ideals or thought, cult children magically discover their own direction on the Esoteric path. Non esoteric parenting also interferes with children’s karma.

The death cycle prepares you to “pass-over” and then in your next life you are given the first 12 years to “juice up” your body before all your karma is given to you at the age of 12/13. If we understand this as parents we would consider more deeply about how we are as parents. Are we allowing our kids to start clear so that when they get to their teenage years they can deal with their karma or are we impregnating them with ideals and beliefs before they even have a chance to deal with their own karma?  EDG notes, February 2012, taken by Elizabeth Dolan.

‘Karma’ here is SergeSpeak for the onset of psychological independence around age 12, and the Esoterically loathsome qualities that come with intellectual development, such as questioning and answering back.

Esoteric hypocrisy – allowing children free ‘truthful’ expression

Parents are accused of inhibiting their 4th level initiate children’s ‘truth’.

Everything is available to our children when they are given the choice to freely express without needing to please us or anybody else. But we deeply subvert that open potential when they learn that they need to say what we want to hear. (Benhayon, 2011, p.458)

  • Freedom of expression is giving them the ability to express without having to please you or others around them. When they feel free, no pressure to calibrate, there is an enormous explosion of fire that will clear them and bless us with their clarity and insight.
  • We cannot give off an energy that we are afraid of being exposed, but give them permission to say fully what they feel. 
  • It is sad, but true, we suppress any child that has more light than us…If you live in jealously of not taking your light forward your are inadvertently sabotaging the children. EDG notes, Oct 2010 Anon

Yet, UniMed followers routinely suppress their children and severely restrict their freedom. Cult children are not free to eat numerous nutritious foods that have been put on Serge’s EVIL and PRANIC list. They’re restricted from taking part in sport and dance classes, and when active, running around noisily as normal, healthy children do, they’re reprimanded for being ‘racy’ and not ‘in stillness’. They’re also prohibited from listening to non cult music – the Wiggles are presumably regarded as PRANIC! And when children express themselves in ways contrary to the Esoteric programming, they’re not heard.

A recent exchange in the comments area described some of the negative effects on cult children. One of our contributors, Winston, noted about a follower’s 10 year old son:

They believe “children do truth” but why is it so when I have experienced it first hand her son’s absolute rebellion to his mother’s beliefs so much that he would go absolutely crazy when she tried to take him to a practitioner? His mother was told by the practitioner that in his past life he was a slave with some obscure relationships to Cathars?

In spite of the child expressing his ‘clarity and insight’, including some severe distress at being dragged to a weirdo Esoteric healer, he was inflicted with an account of a hypothetical past life as a member of a religious minority that was persecuted and butchered.

Discount a child’s feelings, and you have the perfect robot to do as he/she is told for life. Rebellion is the same robot just choosing to hurt back. (Benhayon, 2011, p.305)

Rather than being free to express their ‘truth’, cult children, like all Universal Medicine followers have their inner most truth and their emotionless feelings dictated to them, with the assistance of covert hypnosis presented as ‘meditation’.

As children we are not taught the language of how to express what we are feeling.
Loss of memory from childhood is not memory but the fact of shutting down, open up and you will be able to feel exactly what your childhood was like.
Open yourself up to feel again and this allows you to learn to speak the truth of what you are feeling.
We than did a meditation – breath your own breath – be you. EDG lecture notes, February 2011, Anonymous note taker

Domestic misery, Esoteric style

Serge Benhayon describes all childhood experiences as negative. There’s not one word in his teachings about parenting or childhood being positive or fulfilling experiences.

  • We all feel EVERYTHING but we don’t give ourselves permission to be aware of it _
  • We tend to shut down at an early age – making the choice to ignore what one feels.
  • As children, the ‘Gods’ of our world are our parents. They are our first relationship.
  • We tend to put them on a pedestal- they present our first experience of the world.
  • We see them fight, argue, lie, drink, be sad, be manipulative etc etc. We feel this all but it is too much to feel from our parents and we calibrate, we shut down.
  • Babies can feel the emotion in mothers milk which may cause them to choke on it. EDG lecture notes taken by Michael Dixon, 19 February 2011

On Planet Serge, children never see their parents negotiate, compromise, agree, deal with difficulties in emotionally dignified ways, enjoy life or act selflessly, warmly and affectionately in children’s best interests. Serge Benhayon makes sure of it.

The next post, on self-loving parents and divided families, looks at Benhayon’s damning views on familial karma, his narcissistic ideal of parenting and how his teachings turn family members against each other to the advantage of the cult.

Upcoming posts include a look at personal boundaries within the Benhayon family, and toxic Esoteric motherhood, where Benhayon seeks to come between mothers and their children, beginning at infancy.

Benhayon, S., A Treatise on Consciousness, UniMed Publishing, Goonellabah, 2007

Benhayon, S., Esoteric Teachings & Revelations, UniMed Publishing, Goonellabah, 2011

10 thoughts on “Esoteric Parenting Part 1 – one long guilt trip

  1. Note that the ‘shield’ referred to above is stripped at UniMed retreats along with privacy and personal boundaries. 

    At the retreats we removed this shield and now have the ability to help others lose their shield by being ourselves and allowing others in to realise they no longer need a shield. EDG Notes taken by Michael Dixon, May 2011

    The ‘shield’ which Sergio disparages might also be referred to as psychological defences that empower individuals to see through bullshit and stand up to con artists.

  2. So heartbreaking and so sickening. It makes me so sad.
    Dear Venus I cannot find the link to the AHPRA site where we can let AHPRA know what we feel.
    You said that they are asking for public submissions.
    Please can you give us the link again. When do we have to have it in by? Thank you

  3. As you read this ‘ponder’ Serge’s children….

    That’s right. All four of them are in his service. One of them lives with him. The others do more or less what dad tells them. The oldest one, not his natural child, is looking after the family biz in the UK. In order to keep Natalie in line, he burned pictures of a friend who was possessed by entities so she would not hang out with her. He stopped Michael listening to harmful (aka decent) music, so the poor guy has been deprived of a musical education and ends up composing pap. Curtis looks bored. But all of them are there, along with Deborah the ex-wife and mother of the clan, at the meetings. Doing their duties. Not one of them has struck out with their own lives. Not one of them has said to dad ” you know what dad, I think your ideas are good and all, but you know, it’s not my thing… I really don’t want to do this. I think I am moving to Perth to be a horse wrangler” because dad has filled their heads with IDEALS AND BELIEFS beyond what any average parent could manage in their worst nightmares. Even Deborah has stuck at it, because the kids are under dad’s sway, and I imagine if she threw her hands in the air and said ” FOR FUCKS SAKE SERGE I AM SICK OF YOUR SHIT” which she did in 1999 (with a little more colourful detail) then she would be ‘loveless, pranic, evil, deluded, in illusion” or whatever else it would take to isolate her from the family. (except of course, she knows all about the money)

    And the icing on that shit flavoured cake is he has moulded a young girl that lived with him and his young children into his wife. Like the kids she might walk around looking like she has free will, but I reckon just like the cult members she doesn’t know whether she is Arthur or Martha. Serge has all of their heads spinning with a combination of spherical crap, blowing hot air up their collective arses and unspoken threats. Just like the cult members.

    So bizzaro is their take on the world, that cult members have made a virtue of the fact that Deborah still hangs around with a dour look, the kids are glued to dad’s side, he’s hooked up with a young girl and they billet others to stay with them or near the clinic. “Oh what a beautiful family” not “what the f*** is going on with this lot of weirdo’s” which is how they WOULD view it if they were not under the spell of the master illusionist. (aka, leader of the new era, fifth level initiate, wise man, man with most integrity, etc)

    One of my least-favourite and the most spine tingling quotes from Serge’s is this ” At 13 kids download their karma”- at 13? A very auspicious age for Miranda and a very interesting year for Serge too. 1994. He knows why.

    One thing omitted t here is how Serge and the cult members insist kids are adults in children’s bodies. One of the first things any parent training will tell you is KIDS ARE NOT ADULTS. Their brains are developing, and the rely on adults to give them a rationale view of the world, a secure environment, love (real intelligent emotional love), safety, values, and a sense of belonging. What Serge preaches is perverse. He endows children with capacities greater than adults which is dangerous non sense. Treating children as adults is the realm of child-abusers. It is as if he is trying to recruit his followers into his own errant behaviour. Again.

    The cult members are stupid enough to let themselves get sucked into Serges world of pretend love. Kids on the other hand need to be protected. There are many teenagers going to UM events, and many cult member who can’t see what is really going on, incapable of using their own rationality to make decisions for themselves, using Serge’s ideas to parent their kids.

    UM ideas are like Trojan viruses. They appear to be a gift, but once they get in, they take over and colonize the mind. They switch off critical thinking, self-diagnosis, and corrupt the memory banks. It is a virus that must be kept away from children.

    If you need proof of how virulent that Trojan is, just look at his family. The lot of them- it’s there in spades.

    • It’s a good point about Serge’s now adult children, whom he keeps close. I touch on Serge’s controlling tendencies in the next post, and yes it’s highly unusual for four children from the same family, even from very wealthy families, to cleave to the family business, not associate with anyone else, and from what I can gather, they don’t really pal up with cult members either.

      I don’t know what goes on at Chez Serge, but knowing what I know about controlling personalities, he’d be a very different person behind closed doors. You mention unspoken threats – but I doubt they’re unspoken. The typical charismatic control freak is charming when it suits and particularly in public, but tyrannical, volatile and abusive when they think no one of consequence is watching. The switches are usually unpredictable, so victims can never rest easy. Yes Miranda? Natalie? Deborah?

      By the way, I thought I did include the stuff about children being adults in kids bodies – or the closest quotes from the doctrines I could find. Tsk. Were you reading? 🙄

      Also, I might throw in the remainder of the quote about the 10 year old 4th level initiate. She was singled out because her ‘clairsentience’ managed to match the cult line. i.e. cult followers are washed out drongos who need to sign up for more healings so they can be as gloriously Esoterically gorgeous and as thoroughly controlled as Miranda and Natalie:

      M (10yrs) travelling home with mum and other women after a unimed course.
      M: ‘Miranda and Natalie are beautiful women’
      Woman:’oh like me and mum are’
      M initially contracts – goes quiet – but encouraged by mum to go deeper into what she felt.
      M saw Miranda and Natalie as full balloons and mum and friend as deflated balloons which they inflate and pop and inflate and pop – great use of esoteric symbolism and honesty because she was allowed to express what she felt rather than feeling she had to spare the womens feelings which is usually what we want to hear as parents and adults – an energy the kids pick up on and deliver.
      M goes on to say how she finds it difficult being herself around others (taking responsibility for it and not blaming the others). How she feels like in a tug-o-war but shes holding both ends of the rope and all she needs to do is let go of one end and then be herself. All 4th degree initiate stuff. Kids know it all it is us as adults and parents that try to squash it because we don’t want to hear truth.

      10 year old M has been manipulated with Esoteric switcheroo. Her cult member Mum probably is a deflated balloon compared with the Benhayon women – at least financially. But the women she sees as ‘full balloons’ have zero freedom and autonomy – no friends, no independent social lives. Guaranteed Sergio oversees all of their communications – every word. Great role models for a growing girl.

      • And polling 10 years for their take on the world because you ***believe*** they are ‘clairesentient” (a total nonsense term) is deranged. These woman are so self-obsessed they need to define themselves based on the infantile perceptions of children! Just think back to when you were a kid and what you understood of the world… Pretty well nothing- The nuance of the ego, the adult psyche, the shades of grey between truth and perceptions, self awareness, rational understanding, love, hate, desire ?…matters far beyond understanding or even perception. And these dense, cult parents speak as if the children’s perceptions are nothing but reflection of those very things within themselves which of course they are.

        And then all of these woman compare themselves to Natalie and Miranda, because SERGE SAYS how special they are. The truth, like all things Serge tainted, is the EXACT OPPOSITE. They are two poor young women have had a lot of bad ideas forced upon them (and worse) disguised as something else. The cult member women worship them as paragons of femininity and esoteric perfection, when in fact, they are victims of deceptions, and of systematic emotional, psychological and (even) physical abuse; even if right now they cant recognize acknowledge it- so much so, they draw others into their victim hood just like misery loves company.

        Even when misery is pretending to be joy.

  4. It struck me too that if we get our karma dumped on us at 13 then poor Miranda sure got hers! And right before her shield went up at 14. So fucking convenient isn’t it?
    Almost like the guy has a very soft spot for kids right at that age maybe?

    • What I meant by that is that it sounds like SB either feels justified for the harm he did to Miranda because it’s her karma, or that because he’s the best thing that could happen to a person, at 13 she then deserves him because of her awesome karma!
      Neither would surprise me.

    • I’d say both. I’ve known certain psychopaths to justify their cruelty as toughening up their victims – doing them a favour.

      I wrote in the post that psychological independence begins to strengthen at 12/13 years of age, but forgot to mention the obvious – karma dumping coincides with puberty, which is also the age Serge is most fascinated with when ranting about sex and sexual violence.

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